Stupid Hypotheticals - Show Me Your Zombie Gun (#OffTopic)

"Lets Just Drive" (lets-just-drive) 01/08/2014 at 23:16 • Filed to: None

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Because I felt like taking a break from car stuff for a moment and because this used to be our general Off Topic forum and because !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! is an excellent fun time waster, this is the challenge: show us your Ultimate Zombie Apocalypse survival firearm. Go use the "old" version, make your gun and save it before uploading the image here. Maybe tell us about your weapon, or something. Yeah.

Here's what I came up with...

I've based mine on a semi/automatic chambered for .22LR with some complicated, but helpful kit. Figured that .22 is an abundant round and you're only really interested in headshots anyway so caliber isn't that important plus, it's user friendly. I flash and noise suppressed it figuring that any loss in accuracy or range can be made up for by the fact that every round isn't a beacon call to every zed in the area. Then I threw a removable flashlight on there and a red-dot sight along with laser sight to make it that much easier to explode zombie heads. A folding stock makes it easier to carry around and/or run for your life with.

What can you come up with?

offroadkarter > Lets Just Drive 01/08/2014 at 23:22

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but.... but they don't have what I want!

Give me a FG42 (Because no other gun sound as cool as one named "Death From Above")

With a M79 as backup

And two .357 Magnums, like so, for close range

Lets go fuck some shit up

Mathias Rios > Lets Just Drive 01/08/2014 at 23:23

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I don't think you're going to be doing very much with .22LR on an undead being. The key is to "sever" or destroy the heads enough so that they won't operate properly. I don't think .22LR will do that.

Bad Idea Hat > Lets Just Drive 01/08/2014 at 23:27

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Trick question; firearms leave you defenseless when reloading and shackled to a limited supply of ammo

Lets Just Drive > Mathias Rios 01/08/2014 at 23:27

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If it's an unprotected cranium, one or two shots should hypothetically do enough damage to the brain that the zombie stops working. I'm borrowing from the contemporary zombie deity Max Brooks who, on that TV reality show about the gun shop, built his ideal zombie gun along the same idea - that .22 is abundant, enough to do the job and very user friendly.

offroadkarter > Bad Idea Hat 01/08/2014 at 23:28

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thats when you flip it around and start slugging zombies with the stock, duh

haven't you ever played any FPS w/ melee ever?

Mathias Rios > Lets Just Drive 01/08/2014 at 23:29

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Not to mention cheap... although that probably doesn't matter haha. I wonder what .22LR would do to one of those simulation human heads...

Lets Just Drive > Bad Idea Hat 01/08/2014 at 23:29

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A 10-22 equipped with a drum magazine, however; makes a pretty strong argument for itself.

Bad Idea Hat > offroadkarter 01/08/2014 at 23:31

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Yeah, I tend to use my hand or sharp things when needed.

lucky's pepper > Bad Idea Hat 01/08/2014 at 23:32

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A sword would allow the zombies to get close enough to possibly scratch you and when you hit them with it you have to worry about blood splatter getting in your eyes or mouth. Either would equal infection. Plus the blade could get lodged in bone, you'd be screwed.

Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 > Lets Just Drive 01/08/2014 at 23:36

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One of these

One of these

And one of these

Towing one of these

Full of these

Your boy, BJR > Lets Just Drive 01/08/2014 at 23:37

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I call it the Buttfucker Delux. What do I win?

Corey CC97, MAZDA DPI IS STILL BAE JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV VISIT FLORIDA RACING LIVES FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS > Lets Just Drive 01/08/2014 at 23:39

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Since I prefer fighting long range instead of short range, an M14 EBR would be my gun of choice.

Corey CC97, MAZDA DPI IS STILL BAE JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV JOESTACTIV VISIT FLORIDA RACING LIVES FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS > Your boy, BJR 01/08/2014 at 23:42

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That is the greatest name for anything ever.

lucky's pepper > Lets Just Drive 01/08/2014 at 23:49

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Everyone knows the best weapon against zombies would be a shotgun because you don't really need to aim at their heads, just point in the general direction. So my choice would be the USAS-12. Semi or full-auto for rapid fire with 32 round drum magazines for quick reloads.

Satoshi "Zipang" Katsura > Lets Just Drive 01/08/2014 at 23:49

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That's all I need.

SaigaShooter - He's got an Impreza > Lets Just Drive 01/08/2014 at 23:49

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UMP in .40, because you have to take into account that you might have to use your weapon on non-zombies as well. Equip with a Burris fast fire 2, sure fire light fwrard grip and a suppressor.

Why in .40? It might be considered the compromise round, but with the recent run on ammo, it is the one caliber I still managed to find on shelves almost everywhere.

Lazzris > Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 01/08/2014 at 23:51

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yup came here to post the full auto shot gun
and a combat knife

offroadkarter > Bad Idea Hat 01/09/2014 at 00:01

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I like using machetes or katanas, but that doesn't mean I haven't used oxygen tanks or fuel cans. Or health packs...

Lets Just Drive > Your boy, BJR 01/09/2014 at 00:01

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That. Is. Epic.

leicester > Lets Just Drive 01/09/2014 at 00:03

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PP-19 Bizon: AK-based 9mm SMG with helical magazine

IDROVEAPICKUPTRUCK > Lets Just Drive 01/09/2014 at 00:09

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Ak-74, not 47. All the reliability of the AK47 with less recoil and more accuracy.

Unwound > Lets Just Drive 01/09/2014 at 00:31

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A Charlie Kelly Ratstick, because badass.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Lets Just Drive 01/09/2014 at 00:49

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911e46z06 > Lets Just Drive 01/09/2014 at 03:39

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I'll need a Saiga 12 iron with a drum mag, a plain ol' CZ75 9mm, and a Walther p22 with a silencer (because obviously zombies are attracted to sound). Gonna need a good machete too, I've got a Gerber Gator that should do the job.

911e46z06 > Mathias Rios 01/09/2014 at 03:41

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.22s have enough energy to get through the skull on the way in, but not on the way out. The bullet usually bounces around inside the skull and turns the brain into mush. (I'm a lawyer, not a serial killer)

willkinton247 > Lets Just Drive 01/09/2014 at 08:32

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M1 Carbine.

Chteelers > Lets Just Drive 01/09/2014 at 08:41

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The only guns I need. Throw down, Zombro.

Moxy > Lets Just Drive 01/09/2014 at 10:20

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This guy:

With all of the optional equipment:

- EoTech Holographic optic for precise targeting

- Sound suppressor (as to not alert more undead)

- PEQ box (with NOD's for night engagements)

- Sig 226 sidearm (just in case)

Nothing says 'have a safe trip back to hell' than a few rounds of 5.56

In a Mini; let them mock me as My Mini Countryman is higher than you > Lets Just Drive 01/11/2014 at 00:11

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Sniper Rifle; Remington MSR, I can modify the stock and barrel to suit my needs but still have bolt action power.

Main weapon; Ump-45, Numerous attachments, burst fire mode able to carry higher damaging rounds.

Oh Shit Weapon: M224 Mortar; because this will fuck all their couches,

Liberte for le Jetstar! > offroadkarter 01/11/2014 at 17:36

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I don't think "Death From Above" and "Paratrooper's Rifle" are interchangeable phrases in German.

rdkev > Unwound 01/21/2014 at 21:37

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You win

DoubleU > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/28/2014 at 17:34

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You must like carrying lots and lots of spare mags...

I love my 1911, but high capacity it is not.